Bird In A Cage

Womanhood is realizing how society has always painted the narrative in a way where a woman is always accused, it is in realizing that patriarchy has been presented as a safe space to oppress women, and in realizing that women were made to believe that they were the problem. It is understanding the pain behind the long sighs and swollen feet, the reason behind one’s silence, and that once your mother was also just a girl.

Being a woman means being angry, being fierce, and being a force to be reckoned with. For centuries, women have accomplished everything that they have constantly been told that they should not, by manipulating them into believing that they could not. These days, everyone seems to be preaching “beti padhao, beti bachao” (translation: educate daughters, save daughters). These daughters can not be saved by education. These daughters can not be saved by the workplace promotions and definitely not by this society. These daughters CAN NOT be saved. Because these daughters live in a community who refuse to educate their sons on how to treat women.

Although we live in the 21st century, the idea of a confident and empowered woman seems dangerous and unbearable to a man. Strong and powerful are the words often not used to describe women, at least not in the same sense. A woman has character roles assigned to her from birth, to be permissive, to be compliant, to be passive, to be overgenerous, and to not be too bold, to not be too loud, to not be too much. She is reduced to a burden, a baggage and a liability that is to be carried. She has endless checklists to complete, just to exist. Her every decision is not truly hers, but dictated by the so-called respect of her parents, gossip of her society, and the delicate ego of men.

Assuming a woman has not been touched without her consent is like assuming that she has never bled. It will never not be exasperating to hear men say “not all men”, when it is almost always all women. Saying not all men is like saying not all bullets kill, true, but irrelevant when one is in the line of fire. The first lesson to learn about gun safety is to treat every weapon like it's loaded, just to be safe. In my opinion, quiet men are far worse than the loud ones, because sometimes, we never know until it’s too late, and sometimes we never know. Most of the time, protecting and defending these bullets are sadly other women. The heavy silence and suppression protects the predator louder than any defense ever will.

The colourful vocabulary often used to shame another starts with mother, sister or the female body. An organ which is capable of bringing a new life into this world while enduring intense pain and remarkable strength, is associated with fragility, weakness and a way to demean. Is it not ironic that one kick between the legs can bring a man to his knees, but when a woman brings into existence a whole human it is seen as weakness? The hypocrisy. A word meant to represent life, power and strength is being used otherwise. It is not shameful to do things “like a girl” or “like a woman” when she is the representation of what it means to be strong, powerful, resilient and capable of miracles.

The only fragile thing here is the man’s ego which crumbles at the slightest discomfort, where everyone walks on egg shells around him so that he can “feel like a man”. Well, if he was a man, no one would have to make him feel anything, he would simply be. It is amusing that a man feels threatened when a woman dares to think, speak and say no. But, there’s nothing funny when he thinks his bruised ego gives him the right to silence, control and force himself on her just so that he can satisfy himself. This is not power, this is not strength and this is not what it means to be a man. True power and strength lie in this, when despite everything, a woman stands tall on her own feet, lifts her head high, cleans herself up, wipes away the blood, and faces the world built by men, as a woman.

This power can be seen in the Palestinian women, where they have been losing their unborn children, limbs, family and homes. But their unwavering faith and hope is devastatingly inspiring.

A woman is not meant for surviving, suffering, or serving. A woman is meant to do what she wants, what she wishes and what she chooses. A woman’s freedom comes from her own choices, not from the choices made for her.

A bird that has spent its whole life in a cage will only know that as a home, but when it explores and still chooses to return on its own, that is when it has truly found home, this is what actual freedom means, and once a woman understands, that it has always been like this, where she is played on a string like a puppet, others will wish she had not.

It is time that women are not seen as equal to men, because men could never really measure up to that.

Written By Ruqaiya Fathima