A Study in Solitude
- Vikram Venkat
- May 25, 2021
- 4 min read
“Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.” — Abbé Joseph Roux, French poet.
The year is 2007. Over the heat of a regular summer afternoon, a teacher screams at us to settle down; it never was the lunches that riled us up, was it? It was the breaks, always—an hour of an adrenaline-stocked flurry of fun built up throughout the previous two.
Looking forward to yet another vanity break, we calm down in the hopes that she’d let us go earlier than usual — after all, who would not want just another ten or fifteen minutes of fun? Despite having forgotten everything about that memory, a singular phrase muttered by her rings in my head to this day, untiringly.
It has been fifteen years since, and the past year has been in corroboration (and celebration) of our throbbing necessity to connect, a thriving craving, in fact so. Habitually, before delving into the topic, here are some definitions:
(In) Isolation [n.]: Without relation to other people or things.
Solitude [n.]: A state or situation of being alone.
[If you’re wondering why I am spending time on rigorous definitions before presenting the essay, here’s Neil deGrasse Tyson to tell you.]
There is no argument here, no structured presentation of opinions, no perspective-changing rebuttals. It is of no doubt that for the past fifteen months, all of us have been in isolation. But how would I know, given that isolation and solitude don’t seem to be all that different? It’s simple, really — isolation is a social phenomenon, solitude is a mental one. And to make sure everyone scrolling through catches this line:
Isolation is a social phenomenon; solitude is a mental one.
A state of isolation is a direct implication of loneliness; of feeling alone. On the flip side of the coin, a state of solitude is a state of being alone. To help understand the difference, here’s my habit taking over for a minute:
Feeling [adj.]: Showing emotion or sensitivity (towards something).
Being [v.]: To exist; be present.
It is tempting (and easy) to dismiss this difference between two extremely similar states of life, as I have been for the past fifteen years or so. But this has been pushed into the limelight — and quite abruptly, might I add — in light of the indefinite pandemic that seems to be lasting forever. And as we are pushed further down the rabbit hole and away from each other, it has become important to understand the difference, even if only to make sure of our health; when it comes to you, put yourself first.
The American Psychological Association’s study on isolation suggests that a regular feeling of loneliness could be equal to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day or having alcohol use disorder. This, in turn, implies that both isolation and solitude — states of mind — have physical, mental, and holistic effects on an individual’s life. The Scientist has a wonderful article on how social isolation affects the brain:
“Absence of human contact is associated with declines in cognitive function. But as the COVID-19 pandemic brings concerns about the potential harms of isolation to the fore, researchers are still hunting for concrete evidence of a causal role as well as possible mechanisms.” — from The Scientist’s article.
The Art of Being Alone, from Tiqets [Source]
During my first (and only) therapy session, my counsellor advised that I “focus” my head down to the small steps, the little picture. This is akin to the story of the boy that conquered a mountain on a stormy night with no moon with only a lantern-like; the wise old man says, “one step at a time, lad.” (Yes, I got the Scottish version of it.)
Now that you know, what can you do to ensure you’re staying mentally healthy?
Observe. Identify. Combat.
Self-awareness is key. Note how I did not say it is key to a healthy life or any specific context. Self-awareness is key … for everything. But that’s for another day.
Observe yourself. Being more conscious of your mind is the first step towards maintaining a healthy mental state. Listen to yourself (or yourselves — it’s 2021, and I have to be inclusive in some way), as the thoughts that stream through and often go unnoticed could hint towards how you are feeling subconsciously. Negative thoughts are alright; it is the impulse to act on them that has to worry you.
Identify the impulses; as most people around the world say, “size does not matter.” Even the tiniest of harmful, actionable thoughts — maybe a little cut here, a little burn there — are all consequences of a lonely mind. Benevolent Health has a listicle on ways to effectively identify negative thoughts and is a great read!
Combat the problem. The solution is not to identify and obliterate the symptoms but rather get to the underlying problem you’re facing. Distractions and hobbies are a great choice to keep your head occupied and away from impulsive whims, albeit distractions may provide a gateway for impulsive actions themselves. Talking to people is fine; talking to professionals is best. Things are often serious inside your head, but talking it out loud may make it seem ridiculous — in which case you’ll be fine — or serious — in which case there are trained people present in the room to help you be fine. Win-win!
Pondering over what you’ve just read, here’s something: when a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around to hear it, it does not matter whether it made a sound; all that matters is that the tree fell, and there is no way for it to make a sound ever again. It does not matter whether you (or I, or we) matter — actions matter. Maybe not for you, maybe not for me, but if it has a tangible implication, it matters.
Keep safe, Vikram Venkat
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